My first semester back at graduate school is slowly creeping to an end...or rather screeching to a stop...in about one week. I have had the most amazing time working with other grad students in our studios downtown, I've also learned a lot from working with the undergrads in sustainable sculpting. I began the semester working with cardboard, and have watched it evolve into a carousel, learned how to turn cardboard ball bearings on a lathe, made paper pulp from cardboard and have learned paper and plaster casting. Right now I am building a cardboard interpretation of my wedding dress (yes, the one from the story several blogs ago). The whole process has been very healing while I navigate the waters of being a single mom, and basically starting the rest of my life over again, a little older and wiser. I toe the line between being extremely bitter and hurt, and feeling rejuvenated and inspired. I've picked up golf again thanks to a very supportive companion, and I am learning how to fly fish! On the other hand, I am still cleaning out my attic, office space, basement, and backyard, all places where my ex keeps his things as storage space. I trip over them regularly as they make my house feel cluttered, and yet I am constantly reminded to ignore it all and "move on." Sometimes this "moving on" makes me feel like I'm on a carousel going around and around and around. I am trying out so many new things in school, and yet it is apparent that I revert back to safe places...pen and ink, plaster, wire...so I work on figuring out different ways to use these materials and what I can do that is complimentary. On top of this, I am developing concept. The dresses keep popping up. Now the wedding dress story holds so much more significance for me. After the wedding our minister said, "You wore the cloak God chose for you," referring to my rehearsal dinner dress. But now, I'm sort of thinking maybe God was sending me a warning not to marry him to begin with and I just didn't pay attention? No matter, everything has a reason, and I know that my two girls are the most important thing to come out of this broken union. So I continue to work on dresses. I sculpt them, I draw them, I paint them.................... There will be more to come, but a friend just reminded me how long it's been since I've put something out about what I am doing, so I thought I would share. I am fine, just deep in thought and in creation. I will take the opportunity though to focus on the positives in my life, aside from my fantastic girls, new people of significance to me, and new work, my baby, The Junkyard is rolling along nicely still. We have many more people involved and I couldn't be more thrilled at the direction in which we are heading. One day at a time. I was a finalist for the Guggenheim Grant, although it was not awarded to me, it gives me great hope that I got as far along in the process that I did. I can't wait to apply again with a fresh portfolio.
Aside from that, I am just working away! Hope everyone reading this is making lemonade out of lemons, and enjoying all that you have. It's hard to focus on the positives sometimes, but necessary. Have a great day and I'll write more soon!